Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Blasts from My Past

Well I used to be all into poetry. Hm, I still am but I don't write it as much but I thought that since this is my personal Blog, let me post some personal shit. So here are a few I did about a year or two ago.

Denial

When you touch me like this
It sends fire through my veins
When you touch me like that
It’s the only thing that’s keeps me sane
I try so hard to expel all of these feelings
But my heart, my body, my soul is what you’re stealing

I cannot deny you 
Even so hard I try
You’re like this drug
That’s only meant on keeping me alive
I’m addicted to you in more ways than one
Even after the taste of you I see my morning sun

I ask myself this everyday
Why do you have this hold over me?
It makes it harder and harder to go on
Like I’m drowning in your sea
But when I look into your eyes
Only more questions arise

Does he love me the way I do him?
Does his heart ache when I go?
Do I send shivers down his spine?
Does he crave my body so?
These are the things I think of when I see you
But you are my earth, my heaven, and my hell too

I’m trapped in this world
Between love and lust
Longing and pining 
But not knowing which one to trust
Do I listen to my gut or do I listen to my brain?
It makes the addiction to you even so harder to retain

Loving you is all I know
It is all I am, it is all I will ever be
Just being in your world 
Is divine and heavenly
To be taken away will surely be the death of me. 


3 Minutes

She looked around while she waited
Waited the 3 minutes to decide her future
A future she no longer controlled
Controlled now by a night of passion
A night she will never forget

But why has he forgotten?
Forgotten the way he held me in his arms
The way he dazzled me with his eyes
The way that he said my name and I his
The way out hearts beats were in sync
The way we became one in body and soul

There was no doubt that I loved him
There was no doubt in trust
I felt safe
Safe enough to walk through fire 
Safe enough to do what I knew was wrong
Because there was no wrong when all I knew was him
Everything about him was right to me

His eyes
His smile
His hair and touch
These things about him that now only lived in my memory

He is no where to be found
He left without a word
Never even caring about what he left behind
What he planted in that night of uncontrollable passion

So now my 3 minutes are up and it’s time to see
What I know is true but I can not believe
I could have been wiser
I could have been braver 
But now it’s too late

One night a passion
He has the memories
Now I have the results
It lasted one night in his mind
And it will last a lifetime in his child’s and mine


Yours

As we lay hand in hand I wonder
I wondered about all the times you called my name
And the times when I felt your touch
A touch that sent fire to my bones
And the coolness your breath left on my neck

As we lay side by side I drift
I drift looking into those wonderful eyes
Eyes that searched every inch of my body
A body that no longer belongs to me
That never belonged to me

Your touch on this body is unbearable.
It sends me to the point of no return
I crave and yearn for it but shy away at the same time
I beg for your lips to touch mine so I can feel whole
And only when we are as one I am this way



HEARTS

They can be torn and worn down
They can be repaired and work like new
They are one of the strongest things in our bodies
But I can't seem to give mine to you
I wish I could but I'm just scared
Not sure what would happen if you weren't there
Would my heart go with you
Or would it just burst
I wanna give it all to you
But I just can't stand the hurt
So here I go giving it to you anyway
Putting myself, my soul, and my heart on the line
So here I am asking you to be mine.



Loneliness

I think of all the times I’ve cried
All the times you left me part of me had died
Your voice I can barely remember 
And your touch that was ever so tender
The way “I love you” rolled off your tongue
But never hearing it again is what really stung

You said always and I thought it would last
But I wasn’t ready for the pain that just won’t pass
My heart breaks into pieces when I think of you
Feeling lost in this world not knowing what I should do
Rolling in my bed feeling the empty space
Knowing the emptiness in my heart is something I don’t want to face

Memories are all that I can cling to now
They are the only things that my heart can bare to allow
You tore me down with just one action
But does knowing I’ll never be the same bring you satisfaction?
You were everything and anything I ever wanted
But I built you up and you took that for granted

I felt the distance and I felt the cold
Maybe if I was better or if I had a tighter hold
Was it me that pushed you away?
Or was I too blind to see you never wanted to stay?
I saw the signs but I didn’t want to admit
That maybe I loved you more than you were willing to commit 

My love was all I had to give
And with that you held my heart captive
But now in its place is this pit of despair 
I have to move on with my life and look elsewhere
The imprint you left on me will never erase 
And this newfound loneliness is something I have to embrace

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